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Twelve Humorous Christmas Quotes

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included." - Bernard Manning

"Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home." - Carol Nelson

"Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money." - Author Unknown

"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present." - Author Unknown

"There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them." - P.J. O'Rourke

"Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet." - Author Unknown

"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." - Erma Bombeck

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." - Jay Leno

"Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money." - Author Unknown

"Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music." - Tom Sims

"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year." - P.J. O'Rourke

"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit." - Kin Hubbard

And finally, a personal favorite:

"The best holiday lights are the tail lights of family members leaving." - Author Unknown

Merry Christmas!